I got giddy last night thinking about how much I love breakfast (especially when it's made by a grandmother of some sort) and how much all the other meals should give up on their quest for greatness, because in my mind they will always have to fight breakfast for the title. During the title fight, breakfast would bludgeon dinner's skull with a hot sausage, drown lunch with a raw egg and coffee cocktail, and sit on brunch's chest and beat the hell out of it for being a poser.

Breakfast is better than brunch because:
Real people eat breakfast...dickheads eat brunch. People who eat brunch are the types of people who will take a dump on your head and then expect you to say, "Hey, thanks for the hat."

Brunch is for dicks because:
Oh, look at me everybody, I can't decide if I want a late breakfast or an early dinner...I'm going to be trendy and eat some salmon and granola at 10:30 because I'm spineless.

BE A MAN. Get some grease popping from the bacon, and then fry a large amount of eggs in it, splashing grease over the top of them like a 5 year old in a kiddie pool. If you eat brunch, then feel free to comment...if you have enough energy from your arrogant snack that ruins everybody else's schedule to pound out a few keystrokes. Stop pretending to be important.